<!DOCTYPE html>












  


<html class="theme-next pisces use-motion" lang="zh-CN">
<head><meta name="generator" content="Hexo 3.8.0">
  <meta charset="UTF-8">
<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=edge">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1, maximum-scale=2">
<meta name="theme-color" content="#222">
























<link rel="stylesheet" href="/lib/font-awesome/css/font-awesome.min.css?v=4.6.2">

<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/main.css?v=7.1.0">


  <link rel="apple-touch-icon" sizes="180x180" href="/images/apple-touch-icon-next.png?v=7.1.0">


  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="32x32" href="/images/logo1.jpg?v=7.1.0">


  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="16x16" href="/images/logo1.jpg?v=7.1.0">


  <link rel="mask-icon" href="/images/logo.svg?v=7.1.0" color="#222">







<script id="hexo.configurations">
  var NexT = window.NexT || {};
  var CONFIG = {
    root: '/',
    scheme: 'Pisces',
    version: '7.1.0',
    sidebar: {"position":"left","display":"post","offset":12,"onmobile":false,"dimmer":false},
    back2top: true,
    back2top_sidebar: false,
    fancybox: false,
    fastclick: false,
    lazyload: false,
    tabs: true,
    motion: {"enable":true,"async":false,"transition":{"post_block":"fadeIn","post_header":"slideDownIn","post_body":"slideDownIn","coll_header":"slideLeftIn","sidebar":"slideUpIn"}},
    algolia: {
      applicationID: '',
      apiKey: '',
      indexName: '',
      hits: {"per_page":10},
      labels: {"input_placeholder":"Search for Posts","hits_empty":"We didn't find any results for the search: ${query}","hits_stats":"${hits} results found in ${time} ms"}
    }
  };
</script>


  




  <meta name="description" content="送啥不好，非要是个螃蟹，还是个假的，不能吃，哪天还可能把我伤到了">
<meta name="keywords" content="何为人间烟火">
<meta property="og:type" content="article">
<meta property="og:title" content="螃蟹">
<meta property="og:url" content="https://luoo.oschina.io/2015/09/23/jottings/螃蟹/index.html">
<meta property="og:site_name" content="从你的全世界路过">
<meta property="og:description" content="送啥不好，非要是个螃蟹，还是个假的，不能吃，哪天还可能把我伤到了">
<meta property="og:locale" content="zh-CN">
<meta property="og:updated_time" content="2019-04-14T12:28:00.696Z">
<meta name="twitter:card" content="summary">
<meta name="twitter:title" content="螃蟹">
<meta name="twitter:description" content="送啥不好，非要是个螃蟹，还是个假的，不能吃，哪天还可能把我伤到了">



  <link rel="alternate" href="/atom.xml" title="从你的全世界路过" type="application/atom+xml">



  
  
  <link rel="canonical" href="https://luoo.oschina.io/2015/09/23/jottings/螃蟹/">



<script id="page.configurations">
  CONFIG.page = {
    sidebar: "",
  };
</script>

  <title>螃蟹 | 从你的全世界路过</title>
  












  <noscript>
  <style>
  .use-motion .motion-element,
  .use-motion .brand,
  .use-motion .menu-item,
  .sidebar-inner,
  .use-motion .post-block,
  .use-motion .pagination,
  .use-motion .comments,
  .use-motion .post-header,
  .use-motion .post-body,
  .use-motion .collection-title { opacity: initial; }

  .use-motion .logo,
  .use-motion .site-title,
  .use-motion .site-subtitle {
    opacity: initial;
    top: initial;
  }

  .use-motion .logo-line-before i { left: initial; }
  .use-motion .logo-line-after i { right: initial; }
  </style>
</noscript>

</head>

<body itemscope itemtype="http://schema.org/WebPage" lang="zh-CN">

  
  
    
  

  <div class="container sidebar-position-left page-post-detail">
    <div class="headband"></div>

    <header id="header" class="header" itemscope itemtype="http://schema.org/WPHeader">
      <div class="header-inner"><div class="site-brand-wrapper">
  <div class="site-meta">
    

    <div class="custom-logo-site-title">
      <a href="/" class="brand" rel="start">
        <span class="logo-line-before"><i></i></span>
        <span class="site-title">从你的全世界路过</span>
        <span class="logo-line-after"><i></i></span>
      </a>
    </div>
    
      
        <p class="site-subtitle">心智渐开，世事渐杂</p>
      
    
    
  </div>

  <div class="site-nav-toggle">
    <button aria-label="切换导航栏">
      <span class="btn-bar"></span>
      <span class="btn-bar"></span>
      <span class="btn-bar"></span>
    </button>
  </div>
</div>



<nav class="site-nav">
  
    <ul id="menu" class="menu">
      
        
        
        
          
          <li class="menu-item menu-item-home">

    
    
    
      
    

    

    <a href="/" rel="section"><i class="menu-item-icon fa fa-fw fa-home"></i> <br>首页</a>

  </li>
        
        
        
          
          <li class="menu-item menu-item-categories">

    
    
    
      
    

    

    <a href="/categories/" rel="section"><i class="menu-item-icon fa fa-fw fa-th"></i> <br>分类</a>

  </li>
        
        
        
          
          <li class="menu-item menu-item-tags">

    
    
    
      
    

    

    <a href="/tags/" rel="section"><i class="menu-item-icon fa fa-fw fa-tags"></i> <br>标签</a>

  </li>
        
        
        
          
          <li class="menu-item menu-item-archives">

    
    
    
      
    

    

    <a href="/archives/" rel="section"><i class="menu-item-icon fa fa-fw fa-archive"></i> <br>归档</a>

  </li>
        
        
        
          
          <li class="menu-item menu-item-schedule">

    
    
    
      
    

    

    <a href="/schedule/" rel="section"><i class="menu-item-icon fa fa-fw fa-calendar"></i> <br>计划</a>

  </li>
        
        
        
          
          <li class="menu-item menu-item-you">

    
    
    
      
    

    

    <a href="/you/" rel="section"><i class="menu-item-icon fa fa-fw fa-heartbeat"></i> <br>知遇</a>

  </li>
        
        
        
          
          <li class="menu-item menu-item-about">

    
    
    
      
    

    

    <a href="/about/" rel="section"><i class="menu-item-icon fa fa-fw fa-user"></i> <br>关于</a>

  </li>

      
      
    </ul>
  

  

  
</nav>



  



</div>
    </header>

    


    <main id="main" class="main">
      <div class="main-inner">
        <div class="content-wrap">
          
            

          
          <div id="content" class="content">
            

  <div id="posts" class="posts-expand">
    

  

  
  
  

  

  <article class="post post-type-normal" itemscope itemtype="http://schema.org/Article">
  
  
  
  <div class="post-block">
    <link itemprop="mainEntityOfPage" href="https://luoo.oschina.io/2015/09/23/jottings/螃蟹/">

    <span hidden itemprop="author" itemscope itemtype="http://schema.org/Person">
      <meta itemprop="name" content="方林">
      <meta itemprop="description" content="愿你出走半生，归来仍是少年">
      <meta itemprop="image" content="/images/logo1.jpg">
    </span>

    <span hidden itemprop="publisher" itemscope itemtype="http://schema.org/Organization">
      <meta itemprop="name" content="从你的全世界路过">
    </span>

    
      <header class="post-header">

        
        
          <h1 class="post-title" itemprop="name headline">螃蟹

              
            
          </h1>
        

        <div class="post-meta">
          <span class="post-time">

            
            
            

            
              <span class="post-meta-item-icon">
                <i class="fa fa-calendar-o"></i>
              </span>
              
                <span class="post-meta-item-text">发表于</span>
              

              
                
              

              <time title="创建时间：2015-09-23 21:04:25" itemprop="dateCreated datePublished" datetime="2015-09-23T21:04:25+08:00">2015-09-23</time>
            

            
          </span>

          
            <span class="post-category">
            
              <span class="post-meta-divider">|</span>
            
              <span class="post-meta-item-icon">
                <i class="fa fa-folder-o"></i>
              </span>
              
                <span class="post-meta-item-text">分类于</span>
              
              
                <span itemprop="about" itemscope itemtype="http://schema.org/Thing"><a href="/categories/随笔/" itemprop="url" rel="index"><span itemprop="name">随笔</span></a></span>

                
                
              
            </span>
          

          
            
            
              
              <span class="post-comments-count">
                <span class="post-meta-divider">|</span>
                <span class="post-meta-item-icon">
                  <i class="fa fa-comment-o"></i>
                </span>
            
                <span class="post-meta-item-text">评论数：</span>
                <a href="/2015/09/23/jottings/螃蟹/#comments" itemprop="discussionUrl">
                  <span class="post-comments-count valine-comment-count" data-xid="/2015/09/23/jottings/螃蟹/" itemprop="commentCount"></span>
                </a>
              </span>
            
          

          
          

          

          

          

        </div>
      </header>
    

    
    
    
    <div class="post-body" itemprop="articleBody">

      
      

      
        <p>　　送啥不好，非要是个螃蟹，还是个假的，不能吃，哪天还可能把我伤到了</p>
<a id="more"></a>
<p><br><br></p>
<p>　　四月那会，通过师妹的同学认识了一个女孩，妹纸在浙江一个医科大学读研，挺文艺的，爱好读书、摄影，跟我这个伪文艺青年还算聊得来。我告诉她说我喜欢旅游，如果她有想去的地方可以约上我，没想到我这句客套话，后来被妹子当真了。</p>
<p>　　五月，突然有一天她跟我说她想去走南京-&gt;苏州-&gt;上海这条路线，问我有没有空一起，这一下我可纠结了，原因来自很多方面，首先我跟妹子只认识了不到一个月连面都没见过，其次行程计划中就我俩，弄不好会很尴尬，但是自己夸下的海口总得兑现，不然就更尴尬了。我还是选择去了，请了一天假，周五晚出发周一回。</p>
<p>　　关于妹子，特别单纯、文艺，让我想起了“象牙塔”这个词，内心一片纯净对生活又充满向往，妹子还喜欢逛一些带有文艺属性的店，譬如书店、手工艺店等等，螃蟹也是跟她逛这手工艺店时买的。妹子挺好但我觉得我俩并不合适，原因有二：第一，妹子不是那种活泼型的，本人自己本来就是个闷葫芦，两个人在一起连话都说不上几句；第二，件件小事发现妹子脾气还挺倔，我就更hold不住了。所以我就算友情出演，陪她在南京和苏州各玩了一天，第三站她找她同学，而我就回北京了。</p>
<p>　　关于螃蟹，是我在苏州某个手工艺店中看到的，看到的第一眼我就觉得特别像妖精，总喜欢挥舞着它那小钳子跟我耀武扬威，但其实没有任何杀伤力。一个念头闪过，我要把它送给妖精，所以螃蟹就跟着我一起回北京了。后来才知道，这是多么错误的一个决定…</p>
<p>　　妖精得知自己收到一只假螃蟹时一脸懵逼，哭笑不得，不能吃也不好玩，不知道这玩意能弄个啥，放在房间搞不好哪天踩上了还得受伤。妖精百般羞辱了这只螃蟹后，还是带走它了，奈何我送了，总不能不要吧。自此以后跟妖精通话的时候，每当想起这个螃蟹就要批斗我一番，就像批斗文化革命里面的地主一样。</p>
<p>　　“你说你，送啥不好，非要送个螃蟹”</p>
<p>　　“螃蟹就算了，还是个假螃蟹”</p>
<p>　　“既不能用，又不能吃，我拿它干啥”</p>
<p>　　“哪天放家里被我踩了，我还得受伤”</p>
<p>　　“你怎么能送女生这种东西呢？活该你单身”</p>
<p>　　“……”</p>
<p>　　妖精一再强调不要再送她这种毫无用处的东西，要送她喜欢的东西。我知道妖精喜欢口红、包包和漂亮衣服等，可是这些我都不敢送，妖精是有男朋友的，如果让他知道了我们可能会打架，而我现在还是个瘦子，跟他打起来太吃亏，其实这些不是最重要的，主要怕以后要是找个对象让她知道这事可就不好办了。我还知道妖精喜欢帅哥，如果可以活捉几个帅哥送过去，倒也是个不错的想法，就算真打起来我可以是看戏的那个，可是程序猿大部分都长得挺磕碜的，就像我一样，偶尔遇到一两个帅哥也早都结婚了，实在是找不到送得出手的。</p>
<p>　　我能想到妖精每次在家看到这个螃蟹的表情，看到它就气不打一处来，但是又不能扔了，食之无味弃之可惜，说不定心里还在埋怨这个傻子咋就不能送点有用的东西呢。其实我这人没有送人礼物的习惯，不理解各种礼物的含义，所以也挑不出什么好礼物，如果哪天女朋友想要某个礼物，请直接点名</p>
<p>　　不过，前提是我得有个对象…</p>

      
    </div>

    

    
    
    

    

    
      
    
    

    

    <footer class="post-footer">
      
        <div class="post-tags">
          
            <a href="/tags/何为人间烟火/" rel="tag"># 何为人间烟火</a>
          
        </div>
      

      
      
      

      
        <div class="post-nav">
          <div class="post-nav-next post-nav-item">
            
              <a href="/2015/09/18/jottings/性冲动理论/" rel="next" title="性冲动理论">
                <i class="fa fa-chevron-left"></i> 性冲动理论
              </a>
            
          </div>

          <span class="post-nav-divider"></span>

          <div class="post-nav-prev post-nav-item">
            
              <a href="/2016/07/30/tech/基于事件驱动状态机的协程框架设计/" rel="prev" title="基于事件驱动状态机的协程框架设计">
                基于事件驱动状态机的协程框架设计 <i class="fa fa-chevron-right"></i>
              </a>
            
          </div>
        </div>
      

      
      
    </footer>
  </div>
  
  
  
  </article>


  </div>


          </div>
          

  
    <div class="comments" id="comments">
    </div>

  



        </div>
        
          
  
  <div class="sidebar-toggle">
    <div class="sidebar-toggle-line-wrap">
      <span class="sidebar-toggle-line sidebar-toggle-line-first"></span>
      <span class="sidebar-toggle-line sidebar-toggle-line-middle"></span>
      <span class="sidebar-toggle-line sidebar-toggle-line-last"></span>
    </div>
  </div>

  <aside id="sidebar" class="sidebar">
    <div class="sidebar-inner">

      

      

      <div class="site-overview-wrap sidebar-panel sidebar-panel-active">
        <div class="site-overview">
          <div class="site-author motion-element" itemprop="author" itemscope itemtype="http://schema.org/Person">
            
              <img class="site-author-image" itemprop="image" src="/images/logo1.jpg" alt="方林">
            
              <p class="site-author-name" itemprop="name">方林</p>
              <div class="site-description motion-element" itemprop="description">愿你出走半生，归来仍是少年</div>
          </div>

          
            <nav class="site-state motion-element">
              
                <div class="site-state-item site-state-posts">
                
                  <a href="/archives/">
                
                    <span class="site-state-item-count">27</span>
                    <span class="site-state-item-name">日志</span>
                  </a>
                </div>
              

              
                
                
                <div class="site-state-item site-state-categories">
                  
                    
                      <a href="/categories/">
                    
                  
                    
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                    <span class="site-state-item-count">3</span>
                    <span class="site-state-item-name">分类</span>
                  </a>
                </div>
              

              
                
                
                <div class="site-state-item site-state-tags">
                  
                    
                      <a href="/tags/">
                    
                  
                    
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                      
                    
                    <span class="site-state-item-count">17</span>
                    <span class="site-state-item-name">标签</span>
                  </a>
                </div>
              
            </nav>
          

          
            <div class="feed-link motion-element">
              <a href="/atom.xml" rel="alternate">
                <i class="fa fa-rss"></i>
                RSS
              </a>
            </div>
          

          

          
            <div class="links-of-author motion-element">
              
                <span class="links-of-author-item">
                  
                  
                    
                  
                  
                    
                  
                  <a href="https://github.com/yourname" title="GitHub &rarr; https://github.com/yourname" rel="noopener" target="_blank"><i class="fa fa-fw fa-github"></i>GitHub</a>
                </span>
              
                <span class="links-of-author-item">
                  
                  
                    
                  
                  
                    
                  
                  <a href="mailto:sean_ps@163.com" title="E-Mail &rarr; mailto:sean_ps@163.com" rel="noopener" target="_blank"><i class="fa fa-fw fa-envelope"></i>E-Mail</a>
                </span>
              
            </div>
          

          

          
          
            <div class="links-of-blogroll motion-element links-of-blogroll-block">
              <div class="links-of-blogroll-title">
                <i class="fa  fa-fw fa-link"></i>
                Links
              </div>
              <ul class="links-of-blogroll-list">
                
                  <li class="links-of-blogroll-item">
                    <a href="http://www.luoo.net" title="http://www.luoo.net" rel="noopener" target="_blank">落网</a>
                  </li>
                
              </ul>
            </div>
          

          
            
          
          

        </div>
      </div>

      

      

    </div>
  </aside>
  


        
      </div>
    </main>

    <footer id="footer" class="footer">
      <div class="footer-inner">
        <div class="copyright">&copy; <span itemprop="copyrightYear">2019</span>
  <span class="with-love" id="animate">
    <i class="fa fa-user"></i>
  </span>
  <span class="author" itemprop="copyrightHolder">fanglin</span>

  

  
</div>









        








        
      </div>
    </footer>

    
      <div class="back-to-top">
        <i class="fa fa-arrow-up"></i>
        
      </div>
    

    

    

    
  </div>

  

<script>
  if (Object.prototype.toString.call(window.Promise) !== '[object Function]') {
    window.Promise = null;
  }
</script>


























  
  <script src="/lib/jquery/index.js?v=2.1.3"></script>

  
  <script src="/lib/velocity/velocity.min.js?v=1.2.1"></script>

  
  <script src="/lib/velocity/velocity.ui.min.js?v=1.2.1"></script>


  


  <script src="/js/utils.js?v=7.1.0"></script>

  <script src="/js/motion.js?v=7.1.0"></script>



  
  


  <script src="/js/affix.js?v=7.1.0"></script>

  <script src="/js/schemes/pisces.js?v=7.1.0"></script>



  
  <script src="/js/scrollspy.js?v=7.1.0"></script>
<script src="/js/post-details.js?v=7.1.0"></script>



  


  <script src="/js/next-boot.js?v=7.1.0"></script>


  

  

  

  
  

<script src="//cdn1.lncld.net/static/js/3.11.1/av-min.js"></script>



<script src="//unpkg.com/valine/dist/Valine.min.js"></script>

<script>
  var GUEST = ['nick', 'mail', 'link'];
  var guest = 'nick,mail,link';
  guest = guest.split(',').filter(function(item) {
    return GUEST.indexOf(item) > -1;
  });
  new Valine({
    el: '#comments',
    verify: true,
    notify: false,
    appId: 'jjdDCzDO6jlN5yOgAbnVwdJ3-gzGzoHsz',
    appKey: 'jnjP7aorboCG7pJV6HvdMP15',
    placeholder: 'ヾﾉ≧∀≦)o来啊，快活啊!',
    avatar: 'mm',
    meta: guest,
    pageSize: '10' || 10,
    visitor: false,
    lang: 'zh-cn' || 'zh-cn'
  });
</script>




  


  




  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

</body>
</html>
